Real Talk

This year has been a year of questions. This year has been a year of changes. There is all this dang stirring inside of my chest. I want to listen: listen closely to what stirs my heart, what stirs my soul. I want to dig deep into the purpose that creeps the narrowest corners of my being. How do I spend my days on this earth? What message am I trying so desperately to get across? 

In the past I have tried to dismiss the questions by busying my world, saying yes even when the answer should've been no. I have tried to find the answer and fill the discontent from men, participating in a cause, playing the part, avoiding conflict, making nice. I’m tired. We fill time with unnecessary noise and bodies, it helps us pretend that we might not in fact be alone. It is the pursuit of happiness that tells us "we will be happier if…”. Through great trial I’ve discovered It’s nearly impossible to find happiness through things or others if we are not truly happy on our own. Turn off the unnecessary noises. Listen. Listen closely. Drive in silence once in a while. Release yourself from unhealthy relationships. Pursue wholeness. In this I’ve experienced that we learn to honour our loneliness. We honour it by accepting it, and by accepting it, we learn that in our loneliness is how we find ourselves. 

I wonder if some understand my questions, my complicated wrestle to find God, my constant battle with the woman I am and the woman I want to be, what I have done and not done, or where I'd like to go next. All of this, I’m sure, is a case of an early twenties existential crisis ;) I came across this quote the other day and it somehow made the questions disappear, even for a little while.

"If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing."
Will Rogers




  1. Of all the days for me to stumble upon your blog, I am most delighted that it was today. :) I had a strange feeling as though someone had creeped into my mind and written my own thoughts down as I was reading. It is always a treat to see other people wrestling with these thoughts as well. I hope you're finding the journey as rewarding as I am! Thank you Lindsay! :)

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! You are too sweet. You're right, it's always comforting to know that others may be on the same journey as you are. I'm excited to check out your blog! xx

  2. Sorry im a year late Lol! I looovvvee this sooo much!! Thank you for writing this!! Im in my first year of college and i feel the exact same way! I feel lost and i cant help but feel anxious about it.. Thank you Lindsay!! :)


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